it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
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I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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