dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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