After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
