so that wasnt chicken after all
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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