So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
