So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
