so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
