Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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