does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
