Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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