So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
