The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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