He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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