I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
