He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Small penises have feelings too.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
