Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize