Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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