So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
