How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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