the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
