Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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