There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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