You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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