I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
