I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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