You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
