the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
