Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
