Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
