She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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