and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize