I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there was a trapeze. enough said
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
