i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
