we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize