Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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