How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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