Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
