Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
