My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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