So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
