your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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