..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
