i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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