i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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