we have officially lost it.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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