My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize