I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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