I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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