So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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