SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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