pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
