But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
