so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
