the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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