I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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