Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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