He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
