Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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