Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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