I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
