matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize